GIVINGTHANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVING
Give Thanks
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Time is supposed to heal.
Time is lagging.
Time is grief’s worst enemy & ironically grief’s most loyal
friend.
Strength of character is often developed through these
trials of hardship. Cliché: because the most common certainty.
Giving thanks for heart and mind tangled by adversity and
pain, takes enduring patience + hope. When the grief occurred, unexpectedly and
unexplained, the devastated hopes and fears struck my heart crippled and
paralyzed. Amidst the drowning hurt, I discovered giving thanks was my oxygen.
Instead of focusing on the disappeared, deceased and
no-longer-exists, I focus on (sometimes stink-eye-ing) the distant light. Bright or
dull, always a glimmering flame, ready to ignite the superfluous reasons I should-be
/ am / need-to-be grateful.
I can see color (Note, I can see.) I can walk across a busy street without a wheelchair. I can
drive a car. I can run on the ever-changing edge of ocean. I can go home to a
pantry full of food. I can call my father, and he will answer. I can walk
without pain. I can brush my hair. I can make choices. I can hold my baby
niece. I have a job, that pays me on time. I have friends I trust. I have siblings
I admire. I have nice shoes, clean sheets and fresh water.
This week I spent moments thankful for moonlight reflecting
and dancing on lagoon’s quiet water. I was thankful for safe travels. I was
thankful for fresh lemon wedge in fizzling cocktail. I was thankful for warm
sunshine in cold wind. I was thankful for uplifting text message. I was
thankful for belly-laughter together with friends. I was thankful for peanut
butter smoothie (thrice.) I was thankful for the impact of Romans 12:12. I was
thankful for an overabundance of crisp hotel feather pillows. I was thankful for
fresh flowers. I was thankful for existing, despite the pain of its definition.
Being thankful for things most often
expected/taken-for-granted helps the dead heart breathe again.
So while time lags, I will continue to be thanksing.
Happy Giving Thanks.